I have fallen off track, between the drinking, fasting, binging and skipping gym for almost 5 months i am not feeling quite myself.
I have been dealing with a lot of emotional issues including work, family and bf stress that i started to resort to some bad habits.
No doubt about it I have gained a lot, afraid to go on the scale, lest that starts another bad habit, but I can feel it in my clothes.
Anyways I have decided enough is enough, the ‘issues’ I am dealing with may not be in my control, I need not wreck my body and mind in the process.
My glutes and legs are killing me
I’m not a fan of 5pm gym when everyone and their mother is there but since I chose to sleep late yet another morning I must suffer the consequences.
And what bad timing! The morning I decided to sleep late and head straight to court from home is the time when my car wont start >.<
And it gets better, my father is in another parish (read miles away), the bf is overseas (gazillion miles away) and the mechanic is completely busy and cant come until afternoon!!
My friends are at work and the other people i know who could assist, i dont need them to know where i live. lol
so im here waiting on the mechanic to come, and tumblring….
So Sunday and Monday were spent over my best friends apartment! She had a really wild party last night and I am über proud of myself I didn’t break my meal plan. The only thing though is that I did a bit of drinking but it was just one glass and one shot. So hopefully not much damage.
But I woke up when work started lol so I had to hightail it outta there and get to work. I am going to the gym later tho, have to sweat out that alcohol.
Have a great day!
I start self defenses tomorrow afternoon, so it’ll be gym first, then class after! Talk about double workout :D
I refuse to be a victim after the attack on Wednesday.
Ladies arm your self with pepper spray and take defense classes, the aim isn’t to attack but to be able to defend yourself if you’re ever attacked. And don’t think that it will never happen to you.
That was my mistake and lesson learnt.
I am now the proud owner of three (3) pepper sprays!
I hope this find you all in much better health and state than me lol. I have been for the past few months really struggling to remain in recovery and I have been falling into old habits too easily and just feeling awful after. I had withdrawn myself not only from tumblr but from life in general, as I’ve been trying to come to terms with who I am and what I really want. Ive also done a really awesome job driving away what little friends I have and am back on the path of being completely lonely! Gah, but it is a part of life. Sometimes you have to break everything down to build yourself back up!
I want healthy, I chose healthy, even though its driving me insane. So I really hope to be on more often. TGIF everyone!
I am not going to lie! Negative thoughts were creeping in close to 5pm this evening when one of my regular triggers was present.
But I bit my tongue n persevered still being mindful of the negativity but responding with positivity.
Needless to say it was a lot of mental work n even though my day didn’t end as happy as I wanted it to, I can’t say that I’m sad or down.
I am simply learning to deal and acknowledging all the good things that happened today!
I’m sorry this is vague, I’m absolutely tired (lol) and just wanna hit the sack, but there will be no tears on my pillow tonight!
This is the first month that I’m actually smiling towards. I have been for the past few months (may on wards) deeply triggered and just sad and down. Little did I know that I *gasp* was adopting a victim mentality and feeling sorry for myself.
As my birthday approached I just got sadder n sadder because a lot of what I had hoped to accomplish was not done. I hated the fact that I was still drowning in student loan, still living at home, still working hard (lol) n my life was still stagnant (felt).
N this week has been unfreaking believable in terms of series of most unfortunate events but I keep forgetting that it’s life. Sometimes it goes so well n sometimes it’s messed up but it’s all part of living. It may not seem fair n I may feel like I never get a break but there is always a silver lining.
Now my circumstances have not changed yet but you best believe my frame of mind is being geared towards changing.
This is the trial month for me, to play nice and not complain. To find the silver lining and good in the bad.
Let’s see how that goes.